After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
