Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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