...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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