U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
