So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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