Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
