I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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