I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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