I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
