If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
