from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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