I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
