considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
