I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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