how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
