things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
