dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
