like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
