ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
