I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I will be naked everywhere
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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