Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize