It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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