If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
