I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
