Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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