Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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