Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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