She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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