Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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