What did we do last night that was yellow?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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