i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
