I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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