Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
well you can't waste a boner
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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