the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize