i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
