Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
