bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
