so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize