the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
