why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you're hired as official boob wrangler
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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