I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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