Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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