Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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