In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
