We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize