Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
