Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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