I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
