Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize