hotel room ftw
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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