My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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