Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
