i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize