Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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