I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
