I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
