i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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