that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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