alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
