Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My feet surprised me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
