I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
