3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
