i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
