I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
