He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
