so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
