Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
