how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
