Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
