I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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