Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
