I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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