I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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